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“I think what happens these days is that people become so busy, and the one place they’re at a good part of the day is the office. You get there at eight and you might stay until seven, then you go home – where are you going to meet anybody?” said Orbuch, a marriage and family therapist of more than 20 years. “You’re seeing the same people day after day, and we know that familiarity and repetition breed liking. As the economy gets worse, people are going to be doing less leisure activities and working more hours, so it may become more common.” However, an office romance gone bad has the potential to torpedo your career. Therefore, office romances should be approached very warily, with even more consideration than the average relationship. People will talk. Make sure you are emotionally and psychologically able to work in an environment where you are the subject of water cooler talk. How attached are you to the job? You may need to find a job elsewhere if the pressure becomes too much, either during or after the relationship. There are, however, certain circumstances that can help mitigate rampant gossip, Orbuch points out. “The bigger the company, the greater the number of people employed at the office, the less likely that is going to occur,” she said. “But it is gossip and people will talk.” The secret will get out. People often expect to shield their private lives, but that is not always possible with office romances. Non-verbal cues can betray you even more than words. “You talk differently to this person, you walk differently with this person, things come up,” Orbuch said. Another thing that can help keep gossipers at bay: minding your P’s and Q’s at the office party. Particularly when alcohol is available, the office party is where work romances are often started, ended, or revealed. It’s best to avoid alcohol consumption at office parties, lest you lose all self-control and become the stuff of corporate legend. When the secret gets out, there could be repercussions. Of course, the odds of something drastic like termination increase if the office romance is against corporate policy. Most likely, a more subtle chain reaction will occur without forcing an employee to find a job elsewhere. Unfortunately, the reaction tends to affect women more – particularly those not in a position of power.
“It’s a societal issue and it’s unfair, but it does spill into the workplace. So a woman who is very serious about getting ahead in her career has to be very mindful about how much information about her personal life is getting into the office.” Repercussions could affect the company. Lawsuits can certainly result from office romances gone bad. Orbuch points out that the least risky office romances are between workers at the same level of the corporate ladder. For instance, a relationship between two fellow supervisors would probably be less likely to cause problems than would a relationship between a supervisor and administrative assistant. “When you’re not on the same level in terms of power, then we get into sexual harassment – it’s much more likely to be labeled as that, perhaps,” Orbuch said. It’s one reason some companies take a proactive approach in their corporate procedure manuals. Clear language prohibiting sexual harassment and guiding personal conduct is the only way a company can protect themselves, according to Gray. She added that, even if a corporate procedure manual doesn’t forbid office romances, it should at least list very specific personal conduct guidelines. “The employees shouldn’t be using company time or company equipment to advance the relationship,” she said. “They shouldn’t be e-mailing each other during company time, and they should not be engaging in overt actions with each other. It undermines the business aspect and it can be uncomfortable for others.” Companies that implement procedures regarding office romance need to make sure employees are notified. Just over 40% of respondents in Vault’s 2007 Office Romance Survey reportedly were not aware of any such company guidelines. Not surprisingly, about the same percentage reported past or present involvement in an office romance.  The vast majority of employees and managers surveyed considered office romance permissible if it did not interfere with work. It may just be a sign of the times and an indicator that “Cubicle Cupid” is here to stay.

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